Why do you give up on your health goals?
You set a goal to lose weight, you make a commitment and actually we are very good in making commitments.
Once you make the commitment, you generate excitement and determination, you plan your meals, sign up for the gym, or for a programme and you are fired up. And all of that feels amazing.
But then what happens?
Just after you made the commitment, the reality sets in.
And how do you feel? You start feeling deprivation, confusion, fear, doubt, anger, sadness, overwhelm, shame, rebellion, you name it…
This is all what happens, you feel this terrible emotions. And what you make all of this mean?
That was a terrible idea. That’s is too hard. This went terribly wrong, this shouldn’t be happening.
Then you say: I never did this commitment anyway.
But then, if you signed up for a programme, gym, or even reading a book about weight loss, what do you make it mean? The programme is terrible, or you are terrible. I tried it and it didn’t work, or you are not capable.
But what if we could look at these terrible emotions and thoughts that come up after we make the commitment, as something normal? So, as soon as you make the commitment this for sure is going to happen on purpose, it supposed to, and there is nothing wrong with the world or with you.
So, to go through this you have to have courage. You need to move forward despite the way you feel. And there is where most people give up. They don’t want to feel terrible.
Eating cupcakes feels good and losing weight feel terrible, right?
So, once you are willing to stay in that place, and learn how to get through it and learn all the skills to manage your mind, and to not eat when you are not hungry, all of that creates capability, which is like your skill set, and once you develop that, then you get confidence.
All success is the ability to get from commitment to capability.
I call it the river of misery.
You need to be willing to go through the river of misery to be able to achieve your goal. But there is no way to get to confidence without going through the process of courage and capability.
Everything we want is in the other side of this.
So answering the question I asked in the beginning of the post: Why do we give up in our health goals? The answer is: because we are not willing to go through the river of misery.
We are not willing to feel negative emotions.
Then we give up. Then we change the commitment once you start navigating into the river of misery, because once you change or give up on your commitment then you don’t need to go through the process you don’t need to feel terrible.
So how not to give up on your health goals?
By being willing to feel any emotion that will come up to you.
Do not give up when things starts to get terrible, it’s normal, it’s part of the deal, and you will succeed once you get to the other side of the river.
The best news is: you will evolve, you’ll learn, you’ll have the capability and confidence to keep the result forever.
This text I created to do a Facebook Live, if you want to watch the video click here